Given that Thursday is the first of October, (yes already), I thought I’d usher in the Halloween season with our not- quite annual discussion of the Tyler area “Hell House.” In the past, when other contributors have written on this subject here, their opinions have been controversial, sometimes for the wrong reasons.

I should start by saying; I’m not an anti- Halloween zealot. In fact it seems that thankfully, some of the ardor has gone out of that movement in recent years. Of course originally Halloween or “All Hallows Eve, and All Saints Day,” was an early example of contextualization, where a pagan holiday or tradition is converted in its meaning, to a Christian one. The idea being that as a people were converted, maybe they could keep what was culturally familiar. This same process of contextualization was also applied to other new Christian holidays such as Christmas and Easter. Those examples were merely more successful than Halloween. One of the customs surrounding the event, was to dress as demonic figures as a way of mocking the devil and paganism. Of course over the centuries each generation had their own motivations and traditions. Today Halloween is mostly an opportunity to drive candy sales through the roof and for the general population to push back their intended weight loss regiment another week.

So what is “Hell House?” Supposedly it’s an evangelism tool which takes the visitor on a walk through sin and damnation in attempt to literally scare the hell out of them… or should I say scare them out of hell. The participant witnesses various soul destroying acts and experiences a few minutes of simulated torment by actors dressed as devils. Interestingly, it seems to me that the presentation moves the whole argument about hell and eternity squarely onto evil’s terms. Where the original purpose of the holiday was to mock the spirit of hell and drive out fear, Hell House inspires fear in the hope that it will drive the impressionable away from hell, and ultimately gives evil greater power than it actually has.

Well read, readers, could perhaps chide me that Daunte did essentially the same thing in his classic poem the Inferno. Ok fair point, but remember, Inferno contained a satirical element. Also, it was followed by Purgatorio and Paradiso. And let’s face it “Hell House” is not The Inferno. Despite my theological objections to Hell House, the church in question has been putting on the annual “ministry” for many, many years now and I have to respect their longevity if not their methodology.

Is it time for the State of California to go its own way? Seriously I don’t know the answer to that question. Rarely has there been a culture and governmental entity so mired in dysfunction! The latest news from the land of the left comes from a San Francisco court where the absolutely insane organization “People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals,” have filed a copyright infringement lawsuit on behalf a macaque monkey, whose image was featured on the cover of a wildlife photography book. Evidently, photographer David Slater had set down his camera and allowed the monkey to take his own “selfie.” The resulting photo of a red eyed, amber smiled, monkey has subsequently become iconic since it was originally produced in 2011.

The primate “Naruto,” lives on a monkey reserve in Indonesia, and PETA claims that he took a “…series of purposeful and voluntary actions…” in the taking of his own picture which entitles him to financial compensation for the theft of his intellectual property… Yes, he was “the intellect behind the photo… let that sink in. The Monkey was the intellect behind the photo. I must admit to certain amount of self-loathing at the prospect of actually making an argument in this case; but if the monkey was so intelligent, why would he be leaving selfies on a stranger’s camera. The fact that the primate doesn’t own the camera seems to me to preclude the possibility of him owning any of the images… And what kind of crazy argument am I making!!!

Ok so let’s assume the monkey wins this insane lawsuit, which by the way, the grievance took place in a foreign country outside the jurisdiction of the court, and awash in all sorts of primates… so assuming the monkey wins, how does one go about locating the monkey in question, and again assuming authorities can locate the beast in question, how would he make his wishes known regarding the proceeds. Ok so maybe we purchase a home and a boat load of bananas and let him live a life of ease. Which begs the next question; how is this life different from life in a zoo?

Our society is a mess! When we can’t even take pictures of the local wildlife without fear of legal reprisals, than all is lost. At least we have someone to laugh at as the basic constructs of society break apart.

New arrivals to Tyler often talk about this city as a small town with little to do except eat, drink and go to the movies. As a young adult growing up here I was inclined to agree and often took advantage of all three of those options. One favorite location my friends and I discovered for two of the three activities above, was a fine dining establishment called Bernard’s. My friends and I passed many late hours there enjoying adult beverages, fine tobacco, and philosophical conversation. We would generally show up around closing time and sit around until all hours of the morning talking with the owner. Of course we were nowhere near as cool as we thought we were. And the fact is we really couldn’t afford the lifestyle we were living. It was only thanks to our gracious host that we were able to experience a higher level of food, drink and conversation. Incidentally we must have been at least halfway decent conversationalists for him to tolerate our presence so regularly.

Well, I’m not a twenty something anymore and Tyler has actually changed a lot since those days. Fortunately Bernard’s Mediterranean is still here. I recently took my wife to the fine dining establishment for her birthday. It was the first time I’d visited in around fifteen years. The food was as good as ever, the atmosphere comfortable and of course the company was even better. I had the tender veal with mushrooms and she had pasta with salmon and caviar. Bernard’s has got to be one of the best restaurants in town. It hits all of my most important criteria. It’s locally owned, not a chain or franchise and the food is amazing. Thankfully, this is one great area eatery that’s not in danger of closing due to lack of local interest.

As we left the restaurant I found Bernard himself taking a break on the patio outside. I discovered that he still remembered our late night symposiums and we talked lightly of the friends with whom we’d spent those hours and where their lives had taken them. It will certainly not be another fifteen years before I return to Bernard’s, but I certainly hope it’s still in business after that time.

It’s been years that I’ve played paintball and I’ve kind of got an itch to play it again. I’m not sure why and I’m not sure if it will happen anytime soon but I do know of a place worth checking into if I do make it happen – Bullard Paintball.

For $29 plus tax, one can rent a gun with 300 paintballs, a tank, a mask, air, and play for three hours.

The next package is a $35 deal that allows one to have 500 paintballs and play for four hours.

Paintball is a good way to keep those competitive juices flowing while acting as if you’re at war, trying to accomplish a mission.

No paint from outside is allowed. Anyone planning on bringing a group of 10 or more people will need to call 903-360-5059 ahead of time to make reservations.

It’s open Monday through Friday only if you reservations are made in advance. It’s open Saturdays from 9 a.m. until 6 p.m. and on Sundays from 1 p.m. until 6 p.m.

It’s a great event for birthday parties, corporate outings, youth events, or if you’re sampling just looking for something fun to do to kill a few hours.

Bullard Paintball is located next to the middle school on 633 FM 344.

It’s no secret that Tyler is home, or the original home, to many athletes. It’s also home to many well-known bands and musicians.

One of which is the indie rock band, Eisley, which consists of four Dupree siblings – Chauntelle, Sherri, Stacy and Weston, as well as their cousin Garron, all of whom were born and live in Texas.

The band’s name was actually in reference to Star Wars, named after the planet “Mos Eisley.”

They emerged onto the Dallas scene in 2001 and two years later, signed with Warner Bros. Records, the same year, won Dallas Observer Music Awards. They have made appearances on late night talk shows including the Conan O’Brien Show.

Years ago, during my Jr. High years, I went to church and youth group with the Chauntelle and Sherri at the Vineyard Church in Tyler. Since then, they’ve led worship there from time to time and have had many public performances at Brewtones and other places around town.  It’s pretty cool to think of the success they’ve had since. I later met their cousin (Garron’s sister) in the Houston area, proving it is a small world after all.

At any rate, the band’s big hits include Room Noises, Combinations, The Valley and Currents. More information about the band can be found at www.eisley .com.