Note Regarding This Petland Article
We have written a satirical post and because of confusion by some regarding the intended humor of this post we have a brief explanation of what we intended.
This is a satirical post about one of Tyler’s landmark businesses and locations. We at Tylertxdirectory.com love Petland and their animals and would never suggest that Petland tortures their animals but only wrote about common rumors about Petland with the use of irony which I would assume is a bit of fresh air considering all the posts on the internet that seriously accuse the Petland chain of using puppy mills and torture. For those unfamiliar with the use of irony and humor that is all we intended in the post about Petland. Again the blog post about Petland is tongue in cheek and is meant as comedy and nothing more. We do not believe Petland Tyler is engaged in animal torture or buying puppies from puppy mills. We are a loyal customer of Petland and buy all our pet related products from there. As can be seen in this humane society document there are no reports that the Tyler Petland location is engaged in any type of puppy mill buying or animal torture: Humane Society Report for Texas Petland Locations.
Ok, so I’ve heard a couple rumors about this so called Petland. One has something to do with puppy abuse and the other has to do with finding stray puppies to abuse, I believe. I do suppose that these rumors apply to kittens also, so four rumors in all. But we’re not about rumors here at tylertxdirectory.com no sir, we have a standard for journalistic integrity unmatched by any other local online Tyler Texas business directory, which is why, I’m sure, you come here for these hard hitting no spin zone reviews. I will however point out that upon my last visit, every single puppy and kitten had been sold and/or rescued from the clutches of their tormentors.
You may say that I’m jumping to conclusions when assuming Petland deliberately tormented puppies and kittens, but ask yourself, do you really want to take a chance with puppy/kitten torture? That’s what I thought, but then again, you also may say that there’s no constructive purpose for my wild accusations and that spreading malicious rumors won’t prevent any kitten torture at all. If that is the case then feel free to write your own local Tyler business review, but until then I’m running the show, the baby animal torture show. Besides, I have yet to reveal the extremely dramatic and emotional testimony of my horrifying firsthand experience in this sadistic underground cult.
It was a sunny summer day, I was on my daily ten mile run along the strip mall sidewalk, about to pass the China King Buffet for the third time when I decided on one of my favorite past times. I casually walked into the Petland ready to be greeted once again by this exotic and wonderful world of animal slavery when I noticed every single baby animal box like an empty trophy case for the world’s cutest competition. Unfilled, every last cage, it brought tears to my eyes just thinking of those babies not confined in plexi glass for my own amusement, and I had just named them all individually by personality. “Where are my babies?”
I screamed my question repeatedly and was repeatedly bitten by both the parrots and the employees. As I was drug out of the store I knew in my heart the only explanation could be an underground syndicate for baby animal mutilation, and now I hope that your hearts, whoever is reading, can be filled with this truth as well. It feels good to have this in the open finally. But all in all I would like to commend Petland for marketing such a depreciable item as a baby animal, it’s no easy task. So until they get a new shipment of slave babies in feel free to check out the fish.