As I sat down to write today’s article for Petsmart, I realized something. Petsmart is much more than a place to get the right type of food to whiten your dog’s teeth, pet grooming or to make your cat poop in the litter box not the clothes hamper, but it’s a place to find and train cheap love. Love ain’t free? No, it isn’t free but it can be bought and taught. When it comes to people love is a difficult issue. Though many women would not like to believe it but the truth is coming out, humans are non trainable. I am not talking about teaching a child to go to the potty or a young boy to throw a baseball correctly, I am talking about training.
Everyday when you come home, that same dog runs up to your door with that same excited look on its face as if it wants to tell you about the squirrel and it chased today or which neighbor’s flower bed it dug up. And no matter how many times you hit that dog over the head with a rolled up news paper because its chewing up your brand new shoes, that dog still greets you at the door. Cheap love.
Petsmart’s theme is that they love to see healthy and happy pets. Even as you walk through the door you may not be greeted but your dog will. Your dog will be shown the newest fashions in the dog world. As the holidays role in you can dress your dog for Christmas is a Santa jacket and hat. You can even find a stocking for your animal, because we don’t want to see the disappointed look on our goldfish when they don’t get a treasure chest for the fish bowl on December 25th.
Petsmart has special training classes for your animals. And this holiday get your animal’s picture taken with Santa! I find it annoying, the fuss over your animals to dress up and get your pictures taken with Santa, almost as annoying as the idea of strollers for dogs, or dogs carried in purses. If dogs cannot walk on a leash I don’t get the point of a dog then.
You will find what you need at Petsmart. Food and cages, birds, fish and hamsters, you can by all your animals needs in this one store. But if you are like me you have to ignore the corky little things the die hard pet-lovers do.
Mark Zuckerberg’s Letter to Potential Investors
May 17th, 2012Who said silly can’t be used in business writing?
On the evening of the Facebook IPO, Founder and CEO Mark Zuckerberg published the following letter to potential investors:
Dear Potential Investor:
For years, you’ve wasted your time on Facebook. Now here’s your chance to waste your money on it, too.
Tomorrow is Facebook’s IPO, and I know what some of you are thinking. How will Facebook be any different from the dot-com bubble of the early 2000’s?
For one thing, those bad dot-com stocks were all speculation and hype, and weren’t based on real businesses. Facebook, on the other hand, is based on a solid foundation of angry birds and imaginary sheep.
Second, Facebook is the most successful social network in the world, enabling millions to share information of no interest with people they barely know.
Third, every time someone clicks on a Facebook ad, Facebook makes money. And while no one has ever done this on purpose, millions have done it by mistake while drunk. We totally stole this idea from iTunes.
Finally, if you invest in Facebook, you’ll be far from alone. As a result of using Facebook for the past few years, over 900 million people in the world have suffered mild to moderate brain damage, impairing their ability to make reasoned judgments. These will be your fellow Facebook investors.
With your help, if all goes as planned tomorrow, Facebook’s IPO will net $100 billion. To put that number in context, it would take JP Morgan four or five trades to lose that much money.
One last thing: what will, I, Mark Zuckerberg, do with the $18 billion I’m expected to earn from Facebook’s IPO? Well, I’m considering buying Greece, but that would still leave me with $18 billion. LOL.
Friend me,
Mark
Tags: Birds, Brain Damage, Ceo Mark, Facebook, Fellow, Greece, Hype, Investor, Investors, Ipo, Itunes, Jp Morgan, Judgments, Mark Zuckerberg, Mistake, Much Money, Silly zucker letter, Solid Foundation, Speculation, Stocks, Trades
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